1 year on

It’s been just over a year since I last saw my dad.

We’d all been together as a family to say goodbye to my Nan at her funeral. Our last day together was spent shopping at the Fort with Lois, Drew & Mikey. He spoilt them with whatever they wanted and treated us to dinner. I hugged him, kissed him and told him I loved him and hoped to see him again soon.

I made him buy a smart phone so we could speak regularly via Whatsapp and so he could Skype the kids whenever he wanted, for free. He never really got the hang of it.

We spoke on the phone a few times and via messages but then, as always and for reasons only he knew, ‘something’ happened which made him ‘go off on one’ and I decided to give him some space before we spoke again. We never did get to speak again despite him flying to Spain with my mom in May of last year and again, for reasons only he could explain, he decided to stay 50 minutes away from us !?

I’m just back from a friend’s wedding in Mexico, a place where he holidayed regularly. At the reception they played a John Holt medley of songs and it got to me. I broke down and had to slip away to compose myself. It is so fitting and of course so sad that John Holt passed away just days after we laid Big Den to rest.

It’s been weird since we laid my dad to rest in October. It was a hard few weeks afterwards but then life ‘got back to normal’ for me. I never used to speak to Big Den on a regular so it isn’t anywhere near as hard for me as it is for the rest of my brothers and my mom. We have all been speaking a lot more ever since he passed and hopefully we’ll get to be together as a Family again as I wait for the lads to get their asses in gear and book flights over to stay with us.

I do occasionally drift off into deep thought when thinking about Big Den but tonight as I struggle to get my body clock back on Spanish time, I wanted to update this website and post a song played at the funeral and the one that set me off in Mexico.

I have every intention to start documenting all my memories of growing up with Big Den on this site at some point. That time is getting closer I think.

One thought on “1 year on”

  1. Becky says:

    What a beautiful thing to write, i no biologically he wasn’t Ur dad but he defo loved u as his own n wudnt let anyone else say otherwise…..he was defo one of a kind n wen u say in only his way he did wot he did made me giggle as i no wot u mean….i guess the only confort we can take from big den passing is his deep belief in god, and hope and pray he is happy up there xx

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